夫妻话题的英文笑话

来源: 时间: 2017-10-12 22:14:05 人气: 9
 

  夫妻幽默对话的英语笑话

  I wish I were A Newspaper

  Wife talking to her husband, who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

  Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.

  妻子对每天都读报纸的丈夫说,“我希望我是一份报纸,这样我整天都能在你手中”。

  丈夫回答:“我也希望如此,这样我每天都能换你了。”

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  JOKE 1

  Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

  Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

  妻子与丈夫(他整天看报纸):我希望我是报纸,那么我会整天在你的手中。

  丈夫:我也希望,这样我就可以每天改变你

  JOKE 2

  A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

  The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

  一个男孩问他的父亲:爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?

  父亲回答说:我不知道儿子。我仍然支付! !

  JOKE 3

  At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?

  The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

  Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you

  午夜的父亲看到他结婚的儿子离开家……他问他:你在干什么?

  儿子回答:爸爸,我厌倦了我的生活!我新婚姻不顺利,我的妻子和我妈妈一直有冲突!我必须为我的姻亲,支付账单,我讨厌这样的生活! ! !从这里我想走得远,我想品尝每一个快乐的生活,我想有乐趣的生活! ! !

  父亲说:等等! ! ! ! ! ! ! !我来了和你在一起

  JOKE 4

  A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

  The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

  The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

  The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

  The wife: Very good, thank you.

  The husband: And, what happened to my present?

  The wife: Which present?

  The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

  The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!

  一个女人去英国参加一个公司培训2周。她的丈夫开车送她去机场,祝她旅途愉快。

  老婆回答:谢谢你亲爱的,你需要我带什么吗?

  老公笑着说:一个英国女孩! ! !

  女人保持沉默,然后离开。两个星期后,他在机场接她,问:亲爱的,这次旅行怎么样?

  妻子:很好,谢谢你。

  老公,我现在怎么了?

  妻子:哪现在?

  JOKE 5

  A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "

  一对夫妇去一个艺术画廊。他们发现一个裸体女人的照片,只有她的阴部树叶覆盖着。妻子不喜欢运动,但是,丈夫会继续寻找。妻子问:“你在等什么?”丈夫回答说,“秋天。”

  JOKE 6

  A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马), Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打,俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. "

  一个人坐着看报纸,当妻子潜行到他身后,下(打)用煎锅在他的头上。“那到底是什么?”他问道。“这是一张纸在你的裤子口袋里写有名字玛丽艾伦,”她回答。不要傻了,”他说。“两个星期前,当我去了比赛(赛马),玛丽的名字是艾伦我赌马之一。“她看起来满意,她道歉。三天后,他又坐在他的椅子上阅读时,她的指甲(打,俚语)他一个更大的煎锅,把他从冷。当他到来时,他又问,“到底是什么?”“你他妈的马刚刚打电话。”

  JOKE 7

  Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.

  Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!

  Husband: fuck him!

  Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.

  妻子丈夫:你昨晚喝醉了,你侮辱了你的老板。

  丈夫:亵渎他!妻子:你和他解雇你!

  丈夫:操他!

  妻子:我做了,你可以明天回去工作。

  JOKE 8

  A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws ".

  几开几英里去乡下,强烈的沉默。据说没有一个字。早先讨论导致了一个论点,既想承认自己的立场。当他们通过了一个粗俗的骡子(骡子)和猪,老婆讽刺地问道:“你的亲戚吗?”“是的,”丈夫回答说,“亲家”。