外国幽默笑话

　　MONEY AND FRIENDS

　　A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

　　B: Friends, of course.

　　A: Why?

　　B: I can always borrow money from friends.

　　钱和朋友

　　甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？

　　乙：当然是朋友。

　　甲：为什么？

　　乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。

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　　Uncle Silas had lighted his pipe for a comfortable smoke，when Aunt Rebecca looked up from her knitting and said：“Silas，do you know that Sunday next will be the thirtieth anniversary of our wedding？”

　　“I swan，”said Silas，“is that so，and what about it？”

　　“Oh，nothing，”said Aunt Rebecca，“only thought may be we ought to kill them two Rhode Island Red chickens.”

　　“But，Rebecca，”said Uncle Silas，“how can you blame them two Rhode Island Red chickens for what happened thirty years ago？”

　　赛拉斯大叔点燃了烟斗想好好吸一口，丽贝卡大妈织着毛衣抬眼说：“赛拉斯，你知不知道下星期日是我们结婚三十周年？”

　　“老天哪，”赛拉斯说，“是吗？那又怎么样？”

　　“噢，没什么，”丽贝卡大妈应道，“我只是想，也许我们该把那两只罗得岛红鸡宰了。”

　　“可是，丽贝卡，”赛拉斯大叔说，“你怎么能够把三十年前发生的事怪到那两只罗得岛红鸡的头上呢？”

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　　A Smart Housewife.

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: “That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!”

　　精明的家庭主妇

　　一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”

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　　Does the dog know the proverb,　too?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　“It's all right,” said a gentleman, “don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?”

　　“Ah, yes,” answered the little boy. “I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?”

　　狗也知道这个谚语吗？

　　一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”