英文幽默笑话

来源: 时间: 2018-06-01 16:17:19 人气: 9
   HE FIRST TIME
  Patient: I'm so frightened, this is my first operation.
  Surgeon: I know just how you feel. This is my first operation, too.
  第一次
  病人:我很害怕,这是我第一次动手术。
  外科医生:我完全理解你的心情。这也是我第一次动手术。
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  Response Ability
  An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, “It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity.”
  Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: “Of course not. After all, I may be wrong.”
  A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”
  The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”
  答问技巧
  衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道:“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
  当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道:“当然不会。毕竟,我可能会是错的。”
  一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”
  获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。”
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  AN ENERGETIC WIFE
  Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
  Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
  Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?
  Husband: I… I happened to be inside the coat.
  精力旺盛的妻子
  邻居:昨天夜里我听见你家屋前有很大的声音,你们出了什么事吗?
  丈夫:没什么。我的妻子有点不高兴,把我的大衣给扔到窗外去了。
  邻居:你的大衣?扔掉大衣怎么会有那么大的声音?
  丈夫:我……我恰好也在大衣里面。